I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
