I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
