no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
