Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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