where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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