dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
