Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
