We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize