i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
