My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
