Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize