Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
