somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The chlamydia really affected his face.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize