I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
soo... how was my night?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
