Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
