Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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