??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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