Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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