Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
