the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
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