Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
