Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
