I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just want nice things and good sex
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
