FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
