Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
