Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
