He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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