I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
