Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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