im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
