you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
my poor anus
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
