Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
