I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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