is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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