Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
