You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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