he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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