cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
