And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize
