I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
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