Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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