3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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