you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
