How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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