You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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