It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
