saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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