She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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