if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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