Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
