I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize