Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Randomize
