dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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