There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
