No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize