In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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