Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
