8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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