i barfeds in our rink
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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