I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
