Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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