She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
