We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
