I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
