My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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