imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
