He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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