Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
